After my mother’s health declined, my brother and I could not agree on next steps for her care. He didn’t listen to me because I am younger and I live further away. But he also didn’t listen to our mother. It became what he thought was best, instead of respecting her wishes. There was no family discussion. He wanted to be the hero who swooped in and saved the day. Instead, her health declined rapidly and she died while we were still fighting. That was 5 years ago, and it has taken baby steps to try to rebuild a relationship with him. I have since learned that he felt pressure to take the reins since that was always expected of him as a child. I hadn’t realized the pressure he felt as the eldest, our mother always seemed overwhelmed with life. We are not there yet, and he never apologized to me, but I understand my brother more now.